Traditional literature treats dominance as a strategy of aggression that harms other people. Of course, that literature was written by physically weak academic types who cannot defend themselves against the physical dominance of a “jock” or a man with a hockey player’s physique. A formidable body is certainly one way of commanding respect by projecting power through casual intimidation. There is, however, a better definition of dominance—one that can stand beside physical force rather than being reduced to it.
True dominance, in my view, is the ability to remain relaxed in the face of rejection, torture, and death—the inevitable kind of fate. It is a spiritual dominance: aligning oneself with one’s fate instead of shying away from it. In the smaller case of a man’s rejected proposal to a woman, what more powerful thing could he do than relax in the face of that rejection instead of throwing a hissy fit?
